No, I Haven't Fallen Off the Face of the Earth

My dear readers, 

I just want to quickly say thank you for reading my blog and no, I haven't fallen off the planet. I have simply (dang pregnancy brain) forgotten that I have this blog. But I have also been busy. July brought on a couple of trips home, false alarms about labor, frustration, heat, and overall craziness. 

The Squid (now being just a few weeks from his birthday) has decided to become a full on Terrible Two Toddler before his second birthday. He's been very disobedient and rebellious and, frankly, I don't know how much more I can handle! It's crazy how my sweet little angel is now so picky, says no to everything, and doesn't listen to me. So that's been frustrating. 

My sister got married in the middle of July. That was interesting to say the least. Let's just say that I'm glad it wasn't my wedding, but I wish that certain people had minded the schedule that was put together (though one incident was my fault), especially when it came to eating food. It was good, but things did not go smoothly. But it was great to have some time off from work (both FATMAN! and I) and to just relax after all of the chaos with my family. 

Then work started up afterwards again. I love my "job" as a Jamberry consultant. I truly do, but everything has its ups and downs and July was a small down after April, May, and June. (Things are already looking up for August!) So that was a little bit of a bummer, but not quite as frustrating and/or stressful as it was for FATMAN!. He manages the store that he works in and summer is the busiest time of the year. So he (and I) prefer to have as many employees in the store as possible during summer. At the end of June, the assistant manager took a different job and moved away. It was a great opportunity for the assistant manager, but that left FATMAN! one employee short. AND he isn't getting a replacement for another couple of weeks. So he's gone all of July missing his assistant manager and he's had to pick up hours, clean up any messes caused by other employees, and do the manager and assistant manager responsibilities. He has definitely been stressed and run ragged. I am so grateful that he has sacrificed so much so that I can stay home with the kids. 

Speaking of kids, Storm, our puppy, has also become a brat. And I'm going to leave it at that for the sake of lengthy blog posts. 

Then a couple of weeks after my sister's wedding, I had the opportunity presented to me to go to a meeting at Jamberry Home Office. So I convinced FATMAN! to make the drive again to my parents' house and I was able to go to a very wonderful and much needed meeting. I got training, motivation, new ideas, and I got to go with my sister in law! It was great! (Not to mention the free and discounted stuff I got.)

On top of all of these events, it's summer. It's hot and miserable. On top of that, I'm near the end of my pregnancy. I hate summer in general. I hate being hot and sweaty and exhausted. This is my second summer pregnancy and I knew what to expect as far as pregnant in summer goes, but I never thought this time around would be harder to cope with. I thought my little angel would stay an angel a little bit longer, I didn't think my unborn son would cause me so much pain and worry (referring to the false alarm labor scare I mentioned earlier), and I certainly didn't expect that my husband would be so much busier and more stressed from work and other things in our lives. I am just over 7 weeks away from my due date. It's going to be the longest 7 weeks of the summer. I can say that with confidence because this whole summer has been LONG! I hate being pregnant in summer and I will never do it again, but I can't wait to meet my little boy. 

Sorry for going on a ranting spree. I just needed to get it out in a different form. Thanks for sticking with me. Hopefully, I'll remember to post more often until D day. 

My Month of Chaos!

Since my last actual post, I have moved, started a new business, the Squid has turned a year old, FATMAN! went on a week long business trip, I have thrown a birthday party, started to unpack a house, the Squid has turned into more than a handful, and I have no idea how I'm still alive and mostly sane! Let me tell you it wasn't easy and I definitely wanted to give up or explode at everyone around me many times. 

So let's start at the beginning when it all started. At the beginning of August, FATMAN! and I finally made a decision of when we were going to finish fixing up and move into our new house. We had closed on the house at the end of June and over a month later were still not moved into it. There were walls, cabinets, and closets that needed painting, lights and fixtures that needed replacing, vents installed, doors fixed, and all around cleaning that need to be done before we could move in. We had a list of about 20 things that needed to be done before we could move in and live in the house (it was built in the '70's and still had many of the original features that were not up to code). We only did about half of the items on our list before we moved in, only because we were so tired of waiting and having to deal with our awful neighbors. So, we set a date to move in... and then we had to change it again because of a wedding... and then again because of paint fumes.... and then we FINALLY MOVED IN the Saturday before FATMAN! had to leave for almost an entire week for business, which was also the Saturday before Squid's birthday party. So for the first week in our new house, I was alone with the Squid. Now, it wouldn't have been as bad if our house was newer than it is. This house makes sooooo much noise and creaks and shifts with every little wind that hits it (and we have a lot of wind here) that I didn't sleep the first two nights FATMAN! was gone. It was scary being in a new environment all alone and not knowing anyone who lived by me. Thank goodness for church and birthday activities to get me out of the house every once in a while! 

Also in August, right before moving into the new house, I became a direct sales consultant with a new and growing company. (But I'll go more into that in another post later.) But having to start my training and selling while trying to pack and move and while taking care of an almost one year old is borderline psychotic! I didn't do a lot with my new job while we packed and moved, but I did start training. When you have to split your free time while baby naps between training and packing, you get worn out quickly and don't want to do anything by the time baby's bedtime comes around. As soon as the Squid was down for the night, I usually just sat and watched TV until I couldn't stay awake any longer. 

Right after moving into the new house and while FATMAN! was on his business trip, the Squid turned one! YAY! The two of us didn't do much the day of his birthday, but that weekend was full of fun and family. Family started showing up Friday night and it was great to just sit around and talk and share stories and relax before the chaos started. I am so grateful that we still had our apartment in our name so that I could have enough room for everyone to stay without cramming in our little house and without forcing everyone to get a hotel. It was helpful to me that I didn't have to worry about everyone staying warm or cool enough during the night, having enough food for everyone for every meal, etc. However, when Saturday rolled around I wish I had planned better and had someone to do the catering for the Squid's party. I loved that my family was willing to help with anything I ask them too, but it's hard when everyone is asking JUST ME what they can help with while I'm trying to do all that only I could or wanted to do. I made a monkey cake for the party and I was trying to get it decorated when everyone kept asking me what they could do to help, needing me to come look at things, needing me to take care of other things, trying to have a conversation with me, etc. FATMAN! was working on the grill (after mowing the lawn). That's it! Just standing and making sure that the food didn't burn. I have no idea why everyone had to come to me for every tiny little thing. So the cake didn't turn out the way I wanted it to. It still looked good and I am grateful for my dad helping out with it, but I wish I had had uninterrupted time just to work on it and have it turn out better. But as soon as the party started, everything was somewhat better. Everyone served themselves, we all sat around and talked and laughed at Squid and his cuteness. It was great. I wish I had been able to take pictures so that I wouldn't have to wait for everyone else to send me the pictures they took. I wish I had planned the decorations a little better. I wish... I wish... I wish... But I can't go back and change the past and it's not like the party was a disaster. It just didn't go as well as I had hoped. 

There are a few more little things that happened during August, but they aren't as crazy as the stories I just shared. I'm so happy that it is now September and that I can start with a blank calendar (not as blank anymore) and have some control over my life again. Now if only I can get Squid to stay in one spot for more than 10 seconds.....

My Baby Still Hasn't Pooped and Other Frustrations of a New Mom

Let me preface that this was my answer to a question FATMAN! asked me the other day. To help with conversation at dinner and to make our marriage stronger, I printed out some random questions and stuck them in a jar. Every night one of us chooses a question (or two) and we talk about it. The other day the question was, "If you had to write a paper about your day, what would the title be?" FATMAN! liked my answer so much that he suggested that it be the title of my next blog post. 

My poor Squid has been struggling with constipation on and off for the past couple of months. And it seems like this time is worse than any other instance. Nothing seems to help. Normally I would go to the doctor, but every time I go to make an appointment or go to an already scheduled appointment, he explodes! So I haven't called the doctor... yet. But I have tried pumping his legs, giving him a tiny bit of juice, essential oils, tummy massages, every solution I have found online and nothing. I have even started him on solids early to see if fruits and vegetables would help. But still nothing! (No, I have not tried prunes yet because Grandma and Grandpa, who bought the solid food, couldn't find any and I have yet to go to the store since coming home from my last trip.) It is so heartbreaking to watch my son grunt and push and grunt and groan and push and cry and have nothing come out, especially since everything I have done has not helped at all. 

One thing that has been beyond frustrating for me is that Squid won't stick to a schedule. {Enter angry scream here} When we moved right after he was born, I did my very, very best to get the Squid on a schedule so that I would have time to help out around the house while he slept. Though it took some time, after a couple of weeks I got him on a reliable schedule and I did my best to help with chores and such. But ever since we got back from Christmas vacation he hasn't be very reliable. He's only slept a few minutes here and there rather than sleeping for at least an hour during every nap time. He sleeps right after eating rather than waiting a while. The only thing that has been consistent is when he eats and that is only because I actually have control over that. Maybe it's the teething. Maybe it's the constipation. Maybe it's the fact that he was constantly passed around all day long during vacation and hardly had the chance to stick to the schedule. Maybe he's simply growing out of naps. I don't know what's going on with him, but it has proven difficult these past couple months or so to get anything done around the house. (It's a miracle sometimes to post here every week.)

Oh, the loveliness of teeth. Unless you are a teething baby. In that case, teeth are your worse nightmare, after being pushed and pushed out of a hole you don't fit through. The Squid has been teething for about a month (for sure) and has had his ups and downs. He now has a tooth just covered by a thin layer of gums just waiting to cut through at any moment. He has been doing extremely well with the amount of discomfort new teeth can be. He loves putting whatever he can get his hands on into his mouth and gnaw on it, fingers (anyone's), thumb, pacifier, teething right, blanket, burp cloth, etc. It all goes in the mouth. 

And because everything goes in his mouth, there is soooo much drool! Drool all over his hands (which then makes them cold), all down his front, on his legs from leaning forward, all over FATMAN! and myself, everywhere! It's a wonder he hasn't drowned himself with so much drool. 

Of all the frustrations that have come with being a mother the worse of them all is that I don't always know what my sweet Squid needs and he can't tell me. Most of the time I can tell what it is that is bothering him, but lately I feel so out of tuned that I question every day if I'm a good mother. But then I do something to make him smile or giggle and I am reassured once again that I am a good mother. 

No one has ever said that motherhood is easy. Only that it is worth the remarkable rewards. 

*UPDATE* The Squid has pooped, but he still struggles and it breaks my heart even more so. 

I Guess I'm Joining the War

There is a war going about on social media about vaccinating our children, especially after the recent measle outbreak at Disneyland. I don't want to offend anyone for their decision and I'm definitely not calling anyone out either. I simply want to share my views and what I believe. 

I am a firm believer in vaccinating. I am vaccinated. FATMAN! is vaccinated. The Squid is vaccinated. As far as I am aware, my entire family is vaccinated. My future children will be vaccinated. And the reasoning behind my choosing to vaccinate is quite simple:

I love and want my children. 

And because of that one and simple reason I will be doing everything I can to make sure I see my children grow up. Which means I will do what I can to prevent my children from getting sick. Which means I will be vaccinating my children. 

Vaccines were created to prevent diseases that were killing very young children. Thousands of children died each year from diseases because there were no cure or prevention. And all the parents were left to do was to bury their child and hope that the next one would survive. A lot of these diseases that used to kill so easily didn't attack quick and swiftly. Most of them killed their victims slowly and painfully. It's one thing to lose a child, but it is completely a different thing to have to watch them suffer too. I'm a mother now and I can't even imagine what it would be like to not only lose my Squid but to also watch him suffer. I cringe and feel horrible having to watch him struggle with constipation. 

Vaccines are a miracle. A child can live past his/her fifth birthday and go on to grow up without his/her parents worrying about dying from a horrible disease or becoming crippled or any other outcome. We as parents don't have to worry about polio, chicken pox, measles, rubella, or any other disease. We can by pass it all with a vaccine and save our children and ourselves. 

Yes, vaccines have been known to come with side effects, but they don't last. I would rather care for my child while enduring any side effect that may happen than to care for my child while he is dying from a disease I could have prevented. The more people are vaccinated, the less likely of spreading of any disease. The more people vaccinated, the more people survive. 

A Canadian mother is furious because of people not vaccinating their children. She received a call from her pediatrician office saying that her 15 day old son may have been exposed to measles. She then was instructed to look for signs and to bring him in as soon as any symptoms arose. She then went to Facebook and posted about her frustrations: 
https://www.facebook.com/jennifer.hibbenwhite/posts/10155168515065632:0
I have to agree with her. I honestly don't know what I would have done if I had gotten a call like that, but I know that I would be just as mad if not more so than her. Why would anyone risk killing their child? 

I am LDS and recently I read an article about what our leaders have said about vaccinating our children. Here is the link to the article:
http://ldsliving.com/story/78000-church-leaders-on-child-immunization
These statements that have been made by our prophets just solidifies that I have made the right choice to be vaccinated and to vaccinate my children. It also adds to my testimony that they are the true leaders of our church and that what they teach comes from God, who loves me and is watching out for me and those I love. What more proof do I need?

I know that the choice to vaccinate is just that: a choice. It is not to be forced. It is not a reason to be punished. It is not mine to make for you. But from one mother who loves her Squid more than anything else, I want my child to live and to grow up healthy and strong. I will do whatever it takes to make that happen. That is why I have chosen to vaccinate. Whatever your reasons for or against, that is YOUR choice and I would much appreciate it if you would not shove your beliefs/thoughts down my throat or make me feel like a bad person for choosing differently than you and for you to respect my choice. I will show the same respect, but only if it is earned. I love my child. Don't you?

To see the links, you will have to copy and paste the web addresses into your search bar. 

...And When You Go Back

In continuation of my last post, the best part about moving away is going back home. 

As much as I have grown to love the places I have moved to and also made those places home, there will always be one place that will always be home, no matter what. I will always want to go back to where I grew up. That's where all of my memories, good and bad, are. That's where I learned MANY lessons, also good and bad. That's where I became who I am today. That's where I will always be most comfortable. 

This past week I had the most wonderful time at home with my family while FATMAN! went out of town for business. While being home, I took total advantage of having extra hands to help with the Squid, which he absolutely loved all of the attention. It was wonderful to give my family some time with their grandson or nephew because we do live far away and more wonderful to get a break. I love being a mother but it is the hardest job in the world and I hardly ever get some time to myself. It was priceless to see my dad just melt whenever he was playing with Squid. Everyone enjoyed playing, seeing, and helping out with taking care of him. 

It was also great to see friends. Especially my best friend who has also moved far (too far) away from home. (I can't complain too much because her husband is serving in the Air Force and I am very grateful for that.) I was very fortunate that they were in town the same time that we were in town. I have missed these two sooooo much and I wish FATMAN! and I had the money to be able to visit. But I'm getting off-track. It was so good to meet up and talk and go bowling (our tradition) and to have a great time just like old times. The time I had spent with them seemed like no time had gone by at all and that distance truly didn't matter at all. We are friends. We will always be friends. There's no question about it. We love them and can't wait to see them again! (Hopefully soon.)

I was able to meet up and see some other friends as well and though I may not be as close to them as I once was, I was still grateful to be able to know that I still do have those friendships and that my friends are doing okay. Life is rough and there will always be some bumps in the roads, but know that I do think of you all often and am always praying that you all have what you need and are happy. 

The worse part about this trip home was that FATMAN! was out of town the majority of the time for work. Sometimes I wish I could go with him on some of his trips, but at the same time I know I would be bored or lonesome because FATMAN! would be in meetings the entire time. So because he was out of town, I had to be the one to jump up and take the Squid from my family if needed. I had to get up at night and give Squid the pacifier. I had to dress, change, play, and give medicine (when my family didn't want to or wasn't there) because FATMAN! wasn't there to help. But when FATMAN! came back and held Squid for the first time, my heart melted even more than when I saw him at the airport. The love in his eyes when he looked at his son was so indescribable. And then to be able to get a night's rest and not have to worry about jumping up every time Squid whimpered. 

The best part about moving away is returning back to your comfort zone, returning home. Home, where you know you will always be welcomed. Home, where all the memories are. Home, where you know people. Home, where you know where everything is. Home, the place you always want to be.