"If you feel so alone, why work so hard at being popular?"
"Well, it beats being alone all by yourself."
-Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Often I have been told that it's better to be alone by yourself than alone in a crowd. After watching the episode of Buffy where the above conversation took place, it got me thinking. Is it better to be alone in a crowd than to be alone by yourself?
I have had my own experiences of feeling alone, both in crowds and all by myself. As I reflect on them, it is my opinion that it is worse to feel alone in a crowd.
When you are feeling alone all by yourself, you are truly and completely alone. There is no one else around. There's no one to try and cheer you up. There is no one around to try and understand what's going on. There is no one around to "fix" things. Sometimes being alone is what is needed to get out of the funk that you are stuck in. Sometimes you just need to figure things out on your own. It isn't always bad to be alone. Being alone every once in a while can be healthy. .
Of course, if you are alone all the time, maybe you do need some help. Feeling alone all the time is not at all healthy. There are many people out there who can help you if you need someone. All you have to do is look and ask for help.
But being alone all by yourself is not fun. Being alone because of a situation, like moving, is something hard to get out of, especially if you are shy and not as out-going as you thought you were. It's hard being cooped up all alone with nowhere to go and with the one and only person you know working all the time. And even when you do get out and find people it can be hard to open up and try to meet people and make friends
Being in a crowd and feeling lonely is awful. There's all of these people around and you try to join in the fun but you don't feel accepted or acknowledged. I remember a dance I went to a few years ago where I felt like I was ignored by everyone, including my date and my best friend. That is a night I wish I could forget because I was all alone but I was surrounded by people. People I knew. People I cared about. People I thought cared about me. People I thought were my friends. Now it is different when the people in the crowd are strangers. It's more normal to feel alone when you are surrounded by people you don't know or care about. Or...at least I think it is. I've only every had that happen to me once.
Feeling alone is awful, but I think that being in a crowd and feeling lonely is a lot worse than being alone by yourself. It's hard to feel alone. It's hard to try and combat the loneliness sometimes. But loneliness can be overcome. It may be hard, but it can be done if you just ask for help.
June 23, 2015
June 15, 2015
Awesome Pancakes
I haven't posted in a few weeks because I've been busy with one thing or another.
This post will be quick and simple.
The other night FATMAN! and I had pancakes for dinner.
I made chocolate chip pancakes and FATMAN! made a strawberry and banana spread.
Let me just say, it was delicious!
I recommend it for everyone.
All you have to do is make pancakes like normal, just add chocolate chips to the pancakes before you flip them.
For the strawberry banana spread mash up a banana and a few strawberries together. FATMAN! did it with a fork to get more solid pieces, but I'm sure you could put them through a food processor or blender and get the same result.
Spread over the top of your chocolate chip pancakes. Voila!
Enjoy!
I'll have another post again (hopefully) soon.
This post will be quick and simple.
The other night FATMAN! and I had pancakes for dinner.
I made chocolate chip pancakes and FATMAN! made a strawberry and banana spread.
Let me just say, it was delicious!
I recommend it for everyone.
All you have to do is make pancakes like normal, just add chocolate chips to the pancakes before you flip them.
For the strawberry banana spread mash up a banana and a few strawberries together. FATMAN! did it with a fork to get more solid pieces, but I'm sure you could put them through a food processor or blender and get the same result.
Spread over the top of your chocolate chip pancakes. Voila!
Enjoy!
I'll have another post again (hopefully) soon.
May 26, 2015
May 19, 2015
Friendship: What's the Point
What's the point of having friends if, when you finally get an opportunity to go home and see them, they don't come to see you?
What's the point of having friends if they are just going to ignore you when you try talking to them?
What's the point of having friends if all they ever do is complain and/or be negative?
What's the point of having friends if they always make empty promises?
What's the point of having friends if you don't know if they even remember you still exist?
WHAT'S THE POINT?!?!?!
It seems like every time I announce that I'm going to be home for some time and want to see my friends, all they ever do is say, "We should totally plan something and get together!" and then never, and I really do mean never, follow through. And then when I get back to wherever I am currently living and say something about having had a good time but missed seeing people, they all come up with excuses or say something to the effect of, "Sorry I missed you. Let me know when you'll be in town next," or they make excuses like, "I didn't know you that you were in town," even though I had said something. And don't even get me started on the excuses I got for when I said, "You should come visit me. I'm really not too far away." It was absolutely ridiculous!
That's what happened for the first two years that I lived away from home and far enough away that I didn't get to get away as often as I would have liked. After taking it for two years, I finally announced that I would no longer be saying when I was going to be in town next and if anyone wanted to see me, they had to come visit me. (This was when I was living in Jackson, WY, which is a 5 hour drive from SLC, my home.) In the two and almost a half years that I lived in Jackson, the only people who came and visited me were family and very few friends who mentioned that they would be stopping in town on their way up to Yellowstone.
Now that I have lived closer (only a 3 hour drive from SLC) for a little over half a year, I still have only had family and two friends come visit. I understand that my friends are busy with school, work, families, and their lives, but I have made an effort to try to still be their friend and to me it seems like they have forgotten all about me, until they need me. It's like pulling teeth with them to try and meet up, even just for a few minutes to sit and talk and catch up. My best friend lives on an island while I'm still mainland USA and yet we still talk to each other often enough and whenever we are both home at the same time (which is rare) we always make time just for us. But guess what? She's the only one who has done this consistently! All of my other friends require multiple phone calls, text messages, Facebook messages, and emails before I can even get them to realize that I'm trying to get their attention.
But it seems like no matter what all I get in return to all I do is excuses, empty promises, and disappointment. I have done my best to make it to all the events that I can. I have done my best to give comfort, advice, help from a distance. I pray for all of my friends every single night. I think about all of them often. I miss them all. But I rarely hear for them. I don't know if they think about me. I don't know if anyone misses me. I don't know if they even think about me at all. I thought I had made some sort of impact on their lives at one point or another. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I was just the "go-to" gal when there were problems and no one else would help or listen. Maybe I was just the soundboard for ideas to be bounced off of. Maybe I was the odd one out whom everyone just tolerated. I don't know. I hardly hear from them.
I wish that I could live closer and get together more often. I wish I could be closer so that I could help out more efficiently. I wish I could make it to every wedding, party, and other events. I wish you all could meet the Squid and that I could meet all of your kids and spouses. I wish you would simply talk to me, see how I'm doing. I try to talk with all of you but I rarely get responses back.
My biggest wish for all of you, my friends, is that you are happy and loving life. Remember that I will always be here for you and I'm only a text message, phone call, email, Facebook message, or 3 hour car ride from SLC away. I love you all. I miss you all. I hope to see you all again at one point or another, but you have to at least make an effort.
What's the point of having friends if they are just going to ignore you when you try talking to them?
What's the point of having friends if all they ever do is complain and/or be negative?
What's the point of having friends if they always make empty promises?
What's the point of having friends if you don't know if they even remember you still exist?
WHAT'S THE POINT?!?!?!
It seems like every time I announce that I'm going to be home for some time and want to see my friends, all they ever do is say, "We should totally plan something and get together!" and then never, and I really do mean never, follow through. And then when I get back to wherever I am currently living and say something about having had a good time but missed seeing people, they all come up with excuses or say something to the effect of, "Sorry I missed you. Let me know when you'll be in town next," or they make excuses like, "I didn't know you that you were in town," even though I had said something. And don't even get me started on the excuses I got for when I said, "You should come visit me. I'm really not too far away." It was absolutely ridiculous!
That's what happened for the first two years that I lived away from home and far enough away that I didn't get to get away as often as I would have liked. After taking it for two years, I finally announced that I would no longer be saying when I was going to be in town next and if anyone wanted to see me, they had to come visit me. (This was when I was living in Jackson, WY, which is a 5 hour drive from SLC, my home.) In the two and almost a half years that I lived in Jackson, the only people who came and visited me were family and very few friends who mentioned that they would be stopping in town on their way up to Yellowstone.
Now that I have lived closer (only a 3 hour drive from SLC) for a little over half a year, I still have only had family and two friends come visit. I understand that my friends are busy with school, work, families, and their lives, but I have made an effort to try to still be their friend and to me it seems like they have forgotten all about me, until they need me. It's like pulling teeth with them to try and meet up, even just for a few minutes to sit and talk and catch up. My best friend lives on an island while I'm still mainland USA and yet we still talk to each other often enough and whenever we are both home at the same time (which is rare) we always make time just for us. But guess what? She's the only one who has done this consistently! All of my other friends require multiple phone calls, text messages, Facebook messages, and emails before I can even get them to realize that I'm trying to get their attention.
But it seems like no matter what all I get in return to all I do is excuses, empty promises, and disappointment. I have done my best to make it to all the events that I can. I have done my best to give comfort, advice, help from a distance. I pray for all of my friends every single night. I think about all of them often. I miss them all. But I rarely hear for them. I don't know if they think about me. I don't know if anyone misses me. I don't know if they even think about me at all. I thought I had made some sort of impact on their lives at one point or another. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I was just the "go-to" gal when there were problems and no one else would help or listen. Maybe I was just the soundboard for ideas to be bounced off of. Maybe I was the odd one out whom everyone just tolerated. I don't know. I hardly hear from them.
I wish that I could live closer and get together more often. I wish I could be closer so that I could help out more efficiently. I wish I could make it to every wedding, party, and other events. I wish you all could meet the Squid and that I could meet all of your kids and spouses. I wish you would simply talk to me, see how I'm doing. I try to talk with all of you but I rarely get responses back.
My biggest wish for all of you, my friends, is that you are happy and loving life. Remember that I will always be here for you and I'm only a text message, phone call, email, Facebook message, or 3 hour car ride from SLC away. I love you all. I miss you all. I hope to see you all again at one point or another, but you have to at least make an effort.
May 13, 2015
A Fading Superpower
First I want to say thank you to my readers for being patient with me. I know I have slacked a little bit lately in my posting. I have been busy with taking care of the Squid and trying to be the best wife I can be to FATMAN! while trying to keep up with the chaos of life. I promise I will continue to post as much as I can. Please keep reading my blog.
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Common sense. Human nature. Thinking before acting. Thinking and planning ahead. Observing. Seeing the big picture. Doing your best and working hard.
What do all of these have in common?
All of those things that I listed are fading away and becoming less and less common.
Common sense is the natural instinct that we all are born with and learn a little along the way through life. Common sense says, "Don't touch the fire, it's hot and will hurt." Common sense is our basic survival instinct that keeps us safe. So, why do very few people still listen to and use common sense?
The other day FATMAN! and I were driving around town running errands. At one of the busiest intersections in town, some city workers were doing some work on the lights. Now, the workers made a common sense mistake of not having a police officer to help with traffic while they were working on the lights, but that wasn't the big problem. The problem was the people driving through that intersection. Common sense says, "Look to see if it's safe before going." Common sense also says to look around and observe before reacting. I can understand if you are too old (or killed to many brain cells because of drugs) and can't remember that a blinking red light means to treat the intersection as a 4-way stop. That I can understand. But when the lights change between working and blinking and you don't have the smarts to look at the light and other drivers before going into the intersection, you clearly don't have common sense and I am going to call you stupid. There were at least two dozen chances for accidents in the five minutes we were at that intersection. The only reason why there weren't any accidents is because of the few people who did actually have some common sense and looked before going any further.
Common sense says to follow the arrows. Too many times have I almost been in an accident or killed in a parking lot because someone is too stupid to follow the arrows that show the right way to go or has no patience and cuts through rather than going around, like they're supposed to. Seriously people, go the correct way and don't cut corners.
Common sense will save your life. Think before you act. Think about what you want to do. Will it keep you safe? Does it make sense? Will it or could it hurt someone else? Use that brain that God placed in your head. It's there for a reason.
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Common sense. Human nature. Thinking before acting. Thinking and planning ahead. Observing. Seeing the big picture. Doing your best and working hard.
What do all of these have in common?
All of those things that I listed are fading away and becoming less and less common.
Common sense is the natural instinct that we all are born with and learn a little along the way through life. Common sense says, "Don't touch the fire, it's hot and will hurt." Common sense is our basic survival instinct that keeps us safe. So, why do very few people still listen to and use common sense?
The other day FATMAN! and I were driving around town running errands. At one of the busiest intersections in town, some city workers were doing some work on the lights. Now, the workers made a common sense mistake of not having a police officer to help with traffic while they were working on the lights, but that wasn't the big problem. The problem was the people driving through that intersection. Common sense says, "Look to see if it's safe before going." Common sense also says to look around and observe before reacting. I can understand if you are too old (or killed to many brain cells because of drugs) and can't remember that a blinking red light means to treat the intersection as a 4-way stop. That I can understand. But when the lights change between working and blinking and you don't have the smarts to look at the light and other drivers before going into the intersection, you clearly don't have common sense and I am going to call you stupid. There were at least two dozen chances for accidents in the five minutes we were at that intersection. The only reason why there weren't any accidents is because of the few people who did actually have some common sense and looked before going any further.
Common sense says to follow the arrows. Too many times have I almost been in an accident or killed in a parking lot because someone is too stupid to follow the arrows that show the right way to go or has no patience and cuts through rather than going around, like they're supposed to. Seriously people, go the correct way and don't cut corners.
Common sense will save your life. Think before you act. Think about what you want to do. Will it keep you safe? Does it make sense? Will it or could it hurt someone else? Use that brain that God placed in your head. It's there for a reason.
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