What's the point of having friends if, when you finally get an opportunity to go home and see them, they don't come to see you?
What's the point of having friends if they are just going to ignore you when you try talking to them?
What's the point of having friends if all they ever do is complain and/or be negative?
What's the point of having friends if they always make empty promises?
What's the point of having friends if you don't know if they even remember you still exist?
WHAT'S THE POINT?!?!?!
It seems like every time I announce that I'm going to be home for some time and want to see my friends, all they ever do is say, "We should totally plan something and get together!" and then never, and I really do mean never, follow through. And then when I get back to wherever I am currently living and say something about having had a good time but missed seeing people, they all come up with excuses or say something to the effect of, "Sorry I missed you. Let me know when you'll be in town next," or they make excuses like, "I didn't know you that you were in town," even though I had said something. And don't even get me started on the excuses I got for when I said, "You should come visit me. I'm really not too far away." It was absolutely ridiculous!
That's what happened for the first two years that I lived away from home and far enough away that I didn't get to get away as often as I would have liked. After taking it for two years, I finally announced that I would no longer be saying when I was going to be in town next and if anyone wanted to see me, they had to come visit me. (This was when I was living in Jackson, WY, which is a 5 hour drive from SLC, my home.) In the two and almost a half years that I lived in Jackson, the only people who came and visited me were family and very few friends who mentioned that they would be stopping in town on their way up to Yellowstone.
Now that I have lived closer (only a 3 hour drive from SLC) for a little over half a year, I still have only had family and two friends come visit. I understand that my friends are busy with school, work, families, and their lives, but I have made an effort to try to still be their friend and to me it seems like they have forgotten all about me, until they need me. It's like pulling teeth with them to try and meet up, even just for a few minutes to sit and talk and catch up. My best friend lives on an island while I'm still mainland USA and yet we still talk to each other often enough and whenever we are both home at the same time (which is rare) we always make time just for us. But guess what? She's the only one who has done this consistently! All of my other friends require multiple phone calls, text messages, Facebook messages, and emails before I can even get them to realize that I'm trying to get their attention.
But it seems like no matter what all I get in return to all I do is excuses, empty promises, and disappointment. I have done my best to make it to all the events that I can. I have done my best to give comfort, advice, help from a distance. I pray for all of my friends every single night. I think about all of them often. I miss them all. But I rarely hear for them. I don't know if they think about me. I don't know if anyone misses me. I don't know if they even think about me at all. I thought I had made some sort of impact on their lives at one point or another. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I was just the "go-to" gal when there were problems and no one else would help or listen. Maybe I was just the soundboard for ideas to be bounced off of. Maybe I was the odd one out whom everyone just tolerated. I don't know. I hardly hear from them.
I wish that I could live closer and get together more often. I wish I could be closer so that I could help out more efficiently. I wish I could make it to every wedding, party, and other events. I wish you all could meet the Squid and that I could meet all of your kids and spouses. I wish you would simply talk to me, see how I'm doing. I try to talk with all of you but I rarely get responses back.
My biggest wish for all of you, my friends, is that you are happy and loving life. Remember that I will always be here for you and I'm only a text message, phone call, email, Facebook message, or 3 hour car ride from SLC away. I love you all. I miss you all. I hope to see you all again at one point or another, but you have to at least make an effort.
For what it's worth, I think Wyoming is one of those places people don't usually visit. It's often a one-way street with visits for us. We have had a few people come over the years and it is amazing when they have! It just sounds much farther away once you cross a state line. I'm sure you are loved.
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