Loneliness

"If you feel so alone, why work so hard at being popular?"
"Well, it beats being alone all by yourself."
-Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Often I have been told that it's better to be alone by yourself than alone in a crowd. After watching the episode of Buffy where the above conversation took place, it got me thinking. Is it better to be alone in a crowd than to be alone by yourself? 

I have had my own experiences of feeling alone, both in crowds and all by myself. As I reflect on them, it is my opinion that it is worse to feel alone in a crowd. 

When you are feeling alone all by yourself, you are truly and completely alone. There is no one else around. There's no one to try and cheer you up. There is no one around to try and understand what's going on. There is no one around to "fix" things. Sometimes being alone is what is needed to get out of the funk that you are stuck in. Sometimes you just need to figure things out on your own. It isn't always bad to be alone. Being alone every once in a while can be healthy. . 

Of course, if you are alone all the time, maybe you do need some help. Feeling alone all the time is not at all healthy. There are many people out there who can help you if you need someone. All you have to do is look and ask for help.  

But being alone all by yourself is not fun. Being alone because of a situation, like moving, is something hard to get out of, especially if you are shy and not as out-going as you thought you were. It's hard being cooped up all alone with nowhere to go and with the one and only person you know working all the time. And even when you do get out and find people it can be hard to open up and try to meet people and make friends

Being in a crowd and feeling lonely is awful. There's all of these people around and you try to join in the fun but you don't feel accepted or acknowledged. I remember a dance I went to a few years ago where I felt like I was ignored by everyone, including my date and my best friend. That is a night I wish I could forget because I was all alone but I was surrounded by people. People I knew. People I cared about. People I thought cared about me. People I thought were my friends. Now it is different when the people in the crowd are strangers. It's more normal to feel alone when you are surrounded by people you don't know or care about. Or...at least I think it is. I've only every had that happen to me once. 

Feeling alone is awful, but I think that being in a crowd and feeling lonely is a lot worse than being alone by yourself. It's hard to feel alone. It's hard to try and combat the loneliness sometimes. But loneliness can be overcome. It may be hard, but it can be done if you just ask for help.