Let me preface that this was my answer to a question FATMAN! asked me the other day. To help with conversation at dinner and to make our marriage stronger, I printed out some random questions and stuck them in a jar. Every night one of us chooses a question (or two) and we talk about it. The other day the question was, "If you had to write a paper about your day, what would the title be?" FATMAN! liked my answer so much that he suggested that it be the title of my next blog post.
My poor Squid has been struggling with constipation on and off for the past couple of months. And it seems like this time is worse than any other instance. Nothing seems to help. Normally I would go to the doctor, but every time I go to make an appointment or go to an already scheduled appointment, he explodes! So I haven't called the doctor... yet. But I have tried pumping his legs, giving him a tiny bit of juice, essential oils, tummy massages, every solution I have found online and nothing. I have even started him on solids early to see if fruits and vegetables would help. But still nothing! (No, I have not tried prunes yet because Grandma and Grandpa, who bought the solid food, couldn't find any and I have yet to go to the store since coming home from my last trip.) It is so heartbreaking to watch my son grunt and push and grunt and groan and push and cry and have nothing come out, especially since everything I have done has not helped at all.
One thing that has been beyond frustrating for me is that Squid won't stick to a schedule. {Enter angry scream here} When we moved right after he was born, I did my very, very best to get the Squid on a schedule so that I would have time to help out around the house while he slept. Though it took some time, after a couple of weeks I got him on a reliable schedule and I did my best to help with chores and such. But ever since we got back from Christmas vacation he hasn't be very reliable. He's only slept a few minutes here and there rather than sleeping for at least an hour during every nap time. He sleeps right after eating rather than waiting a while. The only thing that has been consistent is when he eats and that is only because I actually have control over that. Maybe it's the teething. Maybe it's the constipation. Maybe it's the fact that he was constantly passed around all day long during vacation and hardly had the chance to stick to the schedule. Maybe he's simply growing out of naps. I don't know what's going on with him, but it has proven difficult these past couple months or so to get anything done around the house. (It's a miracle sometimes to post here every week.)
Oh, the loveliness of teeth. Unless you are a teething baby. In that case, teeth are your worse nightmare, after being pushed and pushed out of a hole you don't fit through. The Squid has been teething for about a month (for sure) and has had his ups and downs. He now has a tooth just covered by a thin layer of gums just waiting to cut through at any moment. He has been doing extremely well with the amount of discomfort new teeth can be. He loves putting whatever he can get his hands on into his mouth and gnaw on it, fingers (anyone's), thumb, pacifier, teething right, blanket, burp cloth, etc. It all goes in the mouth.
And because everything goes in his mouth, there is soooo much drool! Drool all over his hands (which then makes them cold), all down his front, on his legs from leaning forward, all over FATMAN! and myself, everywhere! It's a wonder he hasn't drowned himself with so much drool.
Of all the frustrations that have come with being a mother the worse of them all is that I don't always know what my sweet Squid needs and he can't tell me. Most of the time I can tell what it is that is bothering him, but lately I feel so out of tuned that I question every day if I'm a good mother. But then I do something to make him smile or giggle and I am reassured once again that I am a good mother.
No one has ever said that motherhood is easy. Only that it is worth the remarkable rewards.
*UPDATE* The Squid has pooped, but he still struggles and it breaks my heart even more so.
February 24, 2015
February 18, 2015
I Guess I'm Joining the War
There is a war going about on social media about vaccinating our children, especially after the recent measle outbreak at Disneyland. I don't want to offend anyone for their decision and I'm definitely not calling anyone out either. I simply want to share my views and what I believe.
I am a firm believer in vaccinating. I am vaccinated. FATMAN! is vaccinated. The Squid is vaccinated. As far as I am aware, my entire family is vaccinated. My future children will be vaccinated. And the reasoning behind my choosing to vaccinate is quite simple:
I love and want my children.
And because of that one and simple reason I will be doing everything I can to make sure I see my children grow up. Which means I will do what I can to prevent my children from getting sick. Which means I will be vaccinating my children.
Vaccines were created to prevent diseases that were killing very young children. Thousands of children died each year from diseases because there were no cure or prevention. And all the parents were left to do was to bury their child and hope that the next one would survive. A lot of these diseases that used to kill so easily didn't attack quick and swiftly. Most of them killed their victims slowly and painfully. It's one thing to lose a child, but it is completely a different thing to have to watch them suffer too. I'm a mother now and I can't even imagine what it would be like to not only lose my Squid but to also watch him suffer. I cringe and feel horrible having to watch him struggle with constipation.
Vaccines are a miracle. A child can live past his/her fifth birthday and go on to grow up without his/her parents worrying about dying from a horrible disease or becoming crippled or any other outcome. We as parents don't have to worry about polio, chicken pox, measles, rubella, or any other disease. We can by pass it all with a vaccine and save our children and ourselves.
Yes, vaccines have been known to come with side effects, but they don't last. I would rather care for my child while enduring any side effect that may happen than to care for my child while he is dying from a disease I could have prevented. The more people are vaccinated, the less likely of spreading of any disease. The more people vaccinated, the more people survive.
A Canadian mother is furious because of people not vaccinating their children. She received a call from her pediatrician office saying that her 15 day old son may have been exposed to measles. She then was instructed to look for signs and to bring him in as soon as any symptoms arose. She then went to Facebook and posted about her frustrations:
https://www.facebook.com/jennifer.hibbenwhite/posts/10155168515065632:0
I have to agree with her. I honestly don't know what I would have done if I had gotten a call like that, but I know that I would be just as mad if not more so than her. Why would anyone risk killing their child?
I am LDS and recently I read an article about what our leaders have said about vaccinating our children. Here is the link to the article:
http://ldsliving.com/story/78000-church-leaders-on-child-immunization
These statements that have been made by our prophets just solidifies that I have made the right choice to be vaccinated and to vaccinate my children. It also adds to my testimony that they are the true leaders of our church and that what they teach comes from God, who loves me and is watching out for me and those I love. What more proof do I need?
I know that the choice to vaccinate is just that: a choice. It is not to be forced. It is not a reason to be punished. It is not mine to make for you. But from one mother who loves her Squid more than anything else, I want my child to live and to grow up healthy and strong. I will do whatever it takes to make that happen. That is why I have chosen to vaccinate. Whatever your reasons for or against, that is YOUR choice and I would much appreciate it if you would not shove your beliefs/thoughts down my throat or make me feel like a bad person for choosing differently than you and for you to respect my choice. I will show the same respect, but only if it is earned. I love my child. Don't you?
To see the links, you will have to copy and paste the web addresses into your search bar.
I am a firm believer in vaccinating. I am vaccinated. FATMAN! is vaccinated. The Squid is vaccinated. As far as I am aware, my entire family is vaccinated. My future children will be vaccinated. And the reasoning behind my choosing to vaccinate is quite simple:
I love and want my children.
And because of that one and simple reason I will be doing everything I can to make sure I see my children grow up. Which means I will do what I can to prevent my children from getting sick. Which means I will be vaccinating my children.
Vaccines were created to prevent diseases that were killing very young children. Thousands of children died each year from diseases because there were no cure or prevention. And all the parents were left to do was to bury their child and hope that the next one would survive. A lot of these diseases that used to kill so easily didn't attack quick and swiftly. Most of them killed their victims slowly and painfully. It's one thing to lose a child, but it is completely a different thing to have to watch them suffer too. I'm a mother now and I can't even imagine what it would be like to not only lose my Squid but to also watch him suffer. I cringe and feel horrible having to watch him struggle with constipation.
Vaccines are a miracle. A child can live past his/her fifth birthday and go on to grow up without his/her parents worrying about dying from a horrible disease or becoming crippled or any other outcome. We as parents don't have to worry about polio, chicken pox, measles, rubella, or any other disease. We can by pass it all with a vaccine and save our children and ourselves.
Yes, vaccines have been known to come with side effects, but they don't last. I would rather care for my child while enduring any side effect that may happen than to care for my child while he is dying from a disease I could have prevented. The more people are vaccinated, the less likely of spreading of any disease. The more people vaccinated, the more people survive.
A Canadian mother is furious because of people not vaccinating their children. She received a call from her pediatrician office saying that her 15 day old son may have been exposed to measles. She then was instructed to look for signs and to bring him in as soon as any symptoms arose. She then went to Facebook and posted about her frustrations:
https://www.facebook.com/jennifer.hibbenwhite/posts/10155168515065632:0
I have to agree with her. I honestly don't know what I would have done if I had gotten a call like that, but I know that I would be just as mad if not more so than her. Why would anyone risk killing their child?
I am LDS and recently I read an article about what our leaders have said about vaccinating our children. Here is the link to the article:
http://ldsliving.com/story/78000-church-leaders-on-child-immunization
These statements that have been made by our prophets just solidifies that I have made the right choice to be vaccinated and to vaccinate my children. It also adds to my testimony that they are the true leaders of our church and that what they teach comes from God, who loves me and is watching out for me and those I love. What more proof do I need?
I know that the choice to vaccinate is just that: a choice. It is not to be forced. It is not a reason to be punished. It is not mine to make for you. But from one mother who loves her Squid more than anything else, I want my child to live and to grow up healthy and strong. I will do whatever it takes to make that happen. That is why I have chosen to vaccinate. Whatever your reasons for or against, that is YOUR choice and I would much appreciate it if you would not shove your beliefs/thoughts down my throat or make me feel like a bad person for choosing differently than you and for you to respect my choice. I will show the same respect, but only if it is earned. I love my child. Don't you?
To see the links, you will have to copy and paste the web addresses into your search bar.
February 10, 2015
It's Sad To See the End
WARNING: This may be is a ridiculous post, but hopefully funny too.
Call me crazy, but I occasionally (okay more like almost always) get attached to TV shows and the stories and characters, especially the ones that are relatable. For those of us who are Netflix binge watchers, you may relate (or at least I hope you do).
What is it that makes me get so attached to these shows? Is it the characters? Is it the story? Is it the development? Is it the lessons/morals? Or is it the fact that you just binge watched the entire series in just a matter of days? Maybe it's a compilation of everything I just said and more.
I love Netflix because I can watch an entire series without commercials, on my own time, and I can pause the show and go do something without missing a thing, unlike live TV. I love that I have many shows available to me, including shows I have wanted to see, want to watch again, and shows that look interesting but I'm hesitant. I hate Netflix because I am a stay at home mom and will binge watch. I will get through an entire series in a matter of days and then have to find something else to watch, which can be a drag. Another reason I hate Netflix is because some of the shows that are currently on don't update with new episodes as fast as I would like. Though that is one reason why I like Hulu. Hulu streams current shows for free, but you have to deal with commercials, not all TV shows are available, and some shows are available the next day after premiering and others are available a week later.
Here are some shows I have binge watched on Netflix and/or Hulu:
Call me crazy, but I occasionally (okay more like almost always) get attached to TV shows and the stories and characters, especially the ones that are relatable. For those of us who are Netflix binge watchers, you may relate (or at least I hope you do).
What is it that makes me get so attached to these shows? Is it the characters? Is it the story? Is it the development? Is it the lessons/morals? Or is it the fact that you just binge watched the entire series in just a matter of days? Maybe it's a compilation of everything I just said and more.
I love Netflix because I can watch an entire series without commercials, on my own time, and I can pause the show and go do something without missing a thing, unlike live TV. I love that I have many shows available to me, including shows I have wanted to see, want to watch again, and shows that look interesting but I'm hesitant. I hate Netflix because I am a stay at home mom and will binge watch. I will get through an entire series in a matter of days and then have to find something else to watch, which can be a drag. Another reason I hate Netflix is because some of the shows that are currently on don't update with new episodes as fast as I would like. Though that is one reason why I like Hulu. Hulu streams current shows for free, but you have to deal with commercials, not all TV shows are available, and some shows are available the next day after premiering and others are available a week later.
Here are some shows I have binge watched on Netflix and/or Hulu:
Bones: This show is an awesome combination of science and crime solving. It's about a forensic anthropologist and her team who gets partnered up with an FBI agent and together they solve murder cases that pop up all over. The catch: all of the victims show up in only their bones and very little else. This show is mysterious, funny, educational, and romantic, sort of. There is always sexual tension between the main characters. This show is amazing! And it is still airing. So I binge watched this on Netflix and then thought about going to Hulu to get caught up, but FATMAN! loves this show too. So we watch this one together as the new seasons come out on Netflix.
Sabrina the Teenage Witch: For a little while, Hulu offered this whole series. This show is about a girl who finds out she is a witch and we follow her through high school and college as she discovers how her new found magic works. I grew up watching this show and was very happy to find it. And at a moment when I needed to feel nostalgic. When I found Sabrina on Hulu, I was feeling very homesick and needed something that reminded me of home and that everything was fine. A comedy that should be in everyone's home.
Alias: If you are into action and amazing disguises, this is the show for you. This show follows Sydney who is recruited out of college and becomes a spy and then a double agent when the branch of the CIA she works for kills her boyfriend. My husband, FATMAN!, suggested this one to me. It was slow getting into the show, but once it picked up it was phenomenal! All of the action, disguises, gadgets were all beyond its time. The last season tried taking on a supernatural vibe and totally flopped, but the rest of the show was great.
How I Met Your Mother: Shortened to HIMYM, this sitcom follows five friends as they go through life's twists and turns while Ted finds his wife. The show is a series of back flashes as Ted is telling his two children how he met their mother (hence the title). The comedy is often raunchy, but there are amazing catchphrases, one-liners, stories, and hilarious situations. My best friend recommended this one to me and, though it took a couple of years to actually watch, I am so glad that I did. The ending is a bit controversial but if you really think about it after watching the series, it fits and makes sense. If you are looking for something to relax with after a long, hard, busy day, this is the right show for you. Great laughs, no thinking required.
Friends: Most most recent binge (as in I finished it last night). After watching this series, I feel like Friends is the original HIMYM. Friends follows six friends as they go through life in Manhattan. From love to mistakes to work situations, no matter what happens these friends stick together. I wasn't as teary-eyed when I watched the finale last night, but I had my moments of LOLs and teary-eyed moments throughout the entire series. There are touching moments, comedic moments, moments that make you wonder how they are going to fix the problem, moments of love, and moments that, at one point or another, you can relate to. I love my friends and would do anything for them if needed, as the six friends here do. This show proves that friendship can survive anything.
And last, but certainly not least....
Supernatural: This is another show that is still currently airing. Another show that my best friend wanted me to watch that took a couple of years. Another show that I started watching on Netflix and then moved to Hulu to keep up. The title says it all. This show is about two brothers who hunt and kill the supernatural, like vampires, werewolves, pagan gods, angels, demons, etc. This show is scary but amazing and addictive. If I don't stop now, I could go on forever about this show.
There are many other shows that I have binged on thanks to Netflix, Hulu, and the local library. And there will be many more shows to come. But why do we get so attached? Maybe it's because goodbyes are always hard, even to fictional characters.
Images taken from other sites found through googling.
February 4, 2015
...And When You Go Back
In continuation of my last post, the best part about moving away is going back home.
As much as I have grown to love the places I have moved to and also made those places home, there will always be one place that will always be home, no matter what. I will always want to go back to where I grew up. That's where all of my memories, good and bad, are. That's where I learned MANY lessons, also good and bad. That's where I became who I am today. That's where I will always be most comfortable.
This past week I had the most wonderful time at home with my family while FATMAN! went out of town for business. While being home, I took total advantage of having extra hands to help with the Squid, which he absolutely loved all of the attention. It was wonderful to give my family some time with their grandson or nephew because we do live far away and more wonderful to get a break. I love being a mother but it is the hardest job in the world and I hardly ever get some time to myself. It was priceless to see my dad just melt whenever he was playing with Squid. Everyone enjoyed playing, seeing, and helping out with taking care of him.
It was also great to see friends. Especially my best friend who has also moved far (too far) away from home. (I can't complain too much because her husband is serving in the Air Force and I am very grateful for that.) I was very fortunate that they were in town the same time that we were in town. I have missed these two sooooo much and I wish FATMAN! and I had the money to be able to visit. But I'm getting off-track. It was so good to meet up and talk and go bowling (our tradition) and to have a great time just like old times. The time I had spent with them seemed like no time had gone by at all and that distance truly didn't matter at all. We are friends. We will always be friends. There's no question about it. We love them and can't wait to see them again! (Hopefully soon.)
I was able to meet up and see some other friends as well and though I may not be as close to them as I once was, I was still grateful to be able to know that I still do have those friendships and that my friends are doing okay. Life is rough and there will always be some bumps in the roads, but know that I do think of you all often and am always praying that you all have what you need and are happy.
The worse part about this trip home was that FATMAN! was out of town the majority of the time for work. Sometimes I wish I could go with him on some of his trips, but at the same time I know I would be bored or lonesome because FATMAN! would be in meetings the entire time. So because he was out of town, I had to be the one to jump up and take the Squid from my family if needed. I had to get up at night and give Squid the pacifier. I had to dress, change, play, and give medicine (when my family didn't want to or wasn't there) because FATMAN! wasn't there to help. But when FATMAN! came back and held Squid for the first time, my heart melted even more than when I saw him at the airport. The love in his eyes when he looked at his son was so indescribable. And then to be able to get a night's rest and not have to worry about jumping up every time Squid whimpered.
The best part about moving away is returning back to your comfort zone, returning home. Home, where you know you will always be welcomed. Home, where all the memories are. Home, where you know people. Home, where you know where everything is. Home, the place you always want to be.
As much as I have grown to love the places I have moved to and also made those places home, there will always be one place that will always be home, no matter what. I will always want to go back to where I grew up. That's where all of my memories, good and bad, are. That's where I learned MANY lessons, also good and bad. That's where I became who I am today. That's where I will always be most comfortable.
This past week I had the most wonderful time at home with my family while FATMAN! went out of town for business. While being home, I took total advantage of having extra hands to help with the Squid, which he absolutely loved all of the attention. It was wonderful to give my family some time with their grandson or nephew because we do live far away and more wonderful to get a break. I love being a mother but it is the hardest job in the world and I hardly ever get some time to myself. It was priceless to see my dad just melt whenever he was playing with Squid. Everyone enjoyed playing, seeing, and helping out with taking care of him.
It was also great to see friends. Especially my best friend who has also moved far (too far) away from home. (I can't complain too much because her husband is serving in the Air Force and I am very grateful for that.) I was very fortunate that they were in town the same time that we were in town. I have missed these two sooooo much and I wish FATMAN! and I had the money to be able to visit. But I'm getting off-track. It was so good to meet up and talk and go bowling (our tradition) and to have a great time just like old times. The time I had spent with them seemed like no time had gone by at all and that distance truly didn't matter at all. We are friends. We will always be friends. There's no question about it. We love them and can't wait to see them again! (Hopefully soon.)
I was able to meet up and see some other friends as well and though I may not be as close to them as I once was, I was still grateful to be able to know that I still do have those friendships and that my friends are doing okay. Life is rough and there will always be some bumps in the roads, but know that I do think of you all often and am always praying that you all have what you need and are happy.
The worse part about this trip home was that FATMAN! was out of town the majority of the time for work. Sometimes I wish I could go with him on some of his trips, but at the same time I know I would be bored or lonesome because FATMAN! would be in meetings the entire time. So because he was out of town, I had to be the one to jump up and take the Squid from my family if needed. I had to get up at night and give Squid the pacifier. I had to dress, change, play, and give medicine (when my family didn't want to or wasn't there) because FATMAN! wasn't there to help. But when FATMAN! came back and held Squid for the first time, my heart melted even more than when I saw him at the airport. The love in his eyes when he looked at his son was so indescribable. And then to be able to get a night's rest and not have to worry about jumping up every time Squid whimpered.
The best part about moving away is returning back to your comfort zone, returning home. Home, where you know you will always be welcomed. Home, where all the memories are. Home, where you know people. Home, where you know where everything is. Home, the place you always want to be.
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