Being a SAHM Sucks

Being a stay at home mom sucks. Well, maybe not completely, but there have been times when I wish I wasn't a stay at home mom.

In my situation, FATMAN! and I only have one car. So every day he takes the car to work and I stay home with baby. I do have a stroller if I wanted to go anywhere, but anywhere I want to go is not exactly in walking distance. And it's summer right now. Too hot to walk anywhere most days. 

I only interact with one person all day, every day. Well, not person, per say. A BABY! A tiny human being who can't talk, can't walk, can't take care of himself on even the simplest of levels. I am his caretaker every second he is awake. When he goes down for a nap, sometimes I get some time to myself, but I never know for how long. But oft times I use that time to clean up after the Squid and do the bare minimum to take care of myself (i.e. food, clothes, etc.). I don't even get to shower in the mornings anymore because Squid's naps are so unpredictable. I have to shower at night after the Squid has gone to sleep for the night. It's nice and relaxing right before bed, but it's not ideal. And because all of my attention is on Squid, I don't have a lot of time to clean and the time I do have to clean (naptime) I can't do some of the cleaning because I have to be quiet to let him sleep. 

I only ever see one other person every day and that's FATMAN! after he gets home from work late most nights. I only see and interact with two people every day. I am a people person. As much as I hate people in general (which is a post for another week), I need people. I need to be around and interact with people. I hate being and/or feeling alone. So, every so often I actually get depressed because the only time I get to interact with people is on Sundays at church (except that now I'm behind the piano again and don't get as much interaction as before). I do grow tired of seeing the same faces all the time, but how do I explain that to my husband? How do I say that I don't want to see him because I see him all the time? I love my husband, but change is good. 

I used to work. I got my first job as a senior in high school and have had a job ever since then until the Squid came. I am used to working and interacting and helping people. Now I interact and help one person every day all day long (plus FATMAN! once he gets home). I don't mind helping him grow and learn and I love watching him do those things, but it's hard to adjust from having a job where you help many people to a job where you only help one person (who doesn't even count as a full person in my opinion). I guess that is why whenever I see one of my friends or family members in need through Facebook, I immediately want to help in any way I can (though I don't have the time I need and want to help). 

As much as I love being a stay at home mom to raise my son and to save money, I do hate it, too. It's not the life I thought I would have. It's not all fun and games like some people think it is. I know, I know. "The grass is greener on the other side." But that doesn't mean it's easier to deal and be happy.