When You Move Away

I grew up in the Salt Lake Valley in Utah. Born and raised. That will always be my home no matter where I am. 

Six months after I got married, my husband got a job promotion that also transferred him to Jackson, WY. That's over 300 miles and 5 hours by car away from Salt Lake. The farthest I have ever lived away from my family and friends. I was extremely nervous and scared out of my wits. I was leaving my home and going to a place I had never been, where I didn't know anyone, and where I couldn't just jump in the car and drive down the street to see my family or friends. I also left behind my job and my students. I also left behind all the shopping places I did my shopping at, of course I didn't find that out until after I moved. I left everything behind. Of course, my husband did too, but this wasn't the first time he had lived away from family and friends. 

I was so scared that I wouldn't be able to make any friends. I was scared that I wouldn't like the place we were moving to. I was scared that I wouldn't fit in with anyone else. I was scared of what everyone else would think of me. I was scared of being so far away from people I knew and loved. I was afraid of losing friends we were leaving behind. I was afraid of not being happy. 

And for the first six months, I wasn't happy. I was having issues making friends. I wasn't finding a job. I was running out of ideas of what to do at home to keep me busy, and one can only clean so many times. All I did all day was sit around, watch Netflix, sometimes read, and mope around the apartment. I didn't get out except when Chad picked me up after work to go grocery shopping or just to take the deposit from work. (I learned later that the bus was free and started exploring the town.) I was miserable and often had a meltdown. 

Moving is hard on me for more than one reason, the biggest being that I am shy. But it means leaving behind everything you know, good or bad, for something unknown. There is always the fear of the unknown. Fear of not knowing whether something is going to be good or bad or cold or familiar or what. And even though I like trying new things and having new adventures, moving seems to be too big of an unknown adventure. That terrifies me, especially when I don't have anyone to go discover the unknown with. (Chad worked all day long and was tired by the end of the day.)  I'm not good with doing things on my own. 

But after a while in the new place, you start to adjust and feel comfortable. You start remembering where your favorite places are and where the important places are. You start getting familiar with the way the town works, the people move, traffic, etc. You discover the best times to go to certain places. You know where to avoid, where the best place to stand to see the street performers is, and what is happening around town. You become a member of the town. 

And then two and a half years later you move again and start the process of adjusting all over again. But this time it's a little easier to adjust because you know exactly what to expect and how to make the adjustment. Even though the next move is easier, it is still hard to leave behind the new home and friends you made. However, somehow you know that no matter where you go, you will be okay. Everything will work out the way they are supposed to.