So Tell Me What You Want, What You Really, Really Want

No, I'm not about to break (further) into song. I just couldn't think of a better title. :) 

Communication is when two (or more) people talk and listen to each other. It's as simple as that! So why is it so hard? Especially in relationships?! Why is it that we as humans want well working relationships (no matter what kind) but can't seem to understand how communication works?

Here is how it works (in a perfect world): Person A talks while Person B listens. Then Person B talks while Person A listens. Persons A or B may ask questions to clarify what the other is talking about or to move the conversation along. No interruptions are allowed. Everyone gets to say what they need to say. No judgment. No rude and/or hurtful remarks. No "one-overing" the other person. Everyone just simply talks thoroughly and listens thoroughly. 

SO WHY DOESN'T THIS WORK?! Why doesn't it happen? 

I don't understand why communication is such a rarity these days. You hear everywhere that "communication is the key" in a healthy relationship. I agree that it is one of the keys. It is one thing that helps a relationship grow and become strong. I also say that complete communication is not always necessary. There are some things that shouldn't be shared. There are some things that work out better when kept to oneself. 

I'm more of a listener than a talker when it comes to conversations. I've always been the quiet one who doesn't speak up unless needed, strongly prompted, or fully comfortable in the current situation. I stutter over my words when I'm nervous or frustrated. (Or excited, but that's a different story.) So I don't like to speak (mostly in public) unless I have to. I've always been the one in the background listening and trying to understand. But when I know I can help, I speak up. Sadly, my help is not always heard or understood and that's when things get complicated. 

Ladies, please don't get offended by this next part because it is true at least once in a while. We females don't always express what we want. We don't always say what's on our minds. We don't tell our significant other what we want from them. We just assume that they can read our minds and other "subtle" hints and clues. Guess what: it doesn't work that way! Just because our girl-friends (sometimes) can read our minds and know exactly what we want doesn't mean that our partners do too. We need to calmly tell our husbands, boyfriends, life partners what we need from them. Even if it's to pick something up off the floor because you can't bend over for one reason or another. And be clear. Tell him exactly what you want. If you can't do that, do it yourself. 

Men, your turn not to be offended. Guys, you need to talk. You need to tell us about what's bothering you, what you need help with, and what you want! Women may be mind readers and know what's going through your head, but we like to hear it from you. Also, actually talk! No one or two word answers. Use at least 6 words when answering a question. It would also help if you paid complete attention when talking with us or to us. If you are in the middle of a videogame and you are trying to talk with me, I'm not going to be taking you seriously and I'd be a little shocked if any woman did. When communicating, full undivided attention is extremely helpful. 

Can we please all take the time to communicate properly with each other? If you want attention, say you want attention. If you want food, say "I'm hungry. Will you please make me ___?" If you want to go to bed, say it. If you want to go somewhere, say it! Are you catching my drift? SAY IT!!! Talk with people. Listen to people. And having a filter between your brain and mouth wouldn't hurt either. Let's have better communication and save each other some headaches and heartaches. 

The Unfound Book

It was like any other normal, boring day for Samantha. School had gone well enough and now she was on her way to the library to get a head start on her newly assigned history report. The library was busy and Samantha had a hard time getting to the nonfiction section on the other side of the library.

When she got to where she needed to be, Samantha pulled out her list of books she can use in her report and started looking. As she found each book on her list, she flipped through and skimmed some pages to determine if it would be helpful or hindering. When she got near the bottom of her list, she had chosen two books to keep.

“What’s the topic of your next report, Sam?”

Samantha looked up to see the librarian only a couple of feet away trying to put books away. “It’s on fairytale legends. I’ve got a list of books I can choose from but I’m not sure which books would be best. Do you have a minute to help?”

The librarian took Samantha’s list and looked it over. “The two books you have are excellent books,” she said after a minute. “And this last book is a great one, too. Probably my favorite one. It’s over in that section over there.” She pointed to the next aisle over.

“Thank you so much!” Samantha said before pushing her way through the crowd.

After being shoved and dodging as much as she could, she finally made it over to the ancient mythology section. As Samantha scratched her head in wonder, she started looking for the recommended book. She knew how the filing system worked and she knew exactly where the book should be, but it wasn't there.

Samantha turned around and found the librarian. “Ms. Mathews, the book isn’t here. Do you know if it’s been checked out already?”

“No, hon,” the librarian said. “I just put it back on the shelf. It should be there.”

Samantha looked again and again but the book wasn’t there. As she started looking all around the suggested section of books, all of the people in the library started panicking and running toward the exits. Samantha got shoved out of the aisle and saw a boy she goes to school with standing on a table. He was wearing a big fluffy coat that hid whatever was creating such chaos. Samantha pushed her way back into the aisle to find the book when the boy cried out, “This library has lost all meaning of what a library truly is!”

Ms. Mathews ran into Samantha as Samantha was trying to make her way back up the aisle. “Oh, sorry dear. But I think it would be best if we leave. Don’t worry about the books. Take them with you and bring them back when you are done. Go!” And Ms. Mathews ran to the back room.

Samantha was so disoriented by what all happened in such little time and had to sit down. The library had gotten very quiet and there was no one else around. The screaming boy had even calmed down.

The next thing Samantha knew, she was waking up after the sun had gone down in the kids section in the library. She didn’t remember how she had gotten there and she didn’t care. All she wanted was to get home. She got up, gathered her bags and books, and made her way to the front doors to leave. On her way, she found the boy in the big fluffy coat sitting in an arm chair in the quiet reading area. He didn’t look up or say anything as Samantha walked past. He just sat in the chair with his arms on the armrests, his head leaned back with his eyes closed, and his coat opened. Samantha now saw that there was a bomb strapped to his chest and understood why there was such chaos, but didn’t understand why she was still alive.

Without a second thought, she raced out of the library toward home. As soon as she was across the street and one block away, she heard a very loud boom behind her. Without turning around, Samantha knew it came from the library. She pushed herself harder to run home faster. 

My Favorite Christmas Story

One more post before I sign off until the New Year.

I grew up reading and having this story read to me.

It is my most favorite story for this time of year.

It's simply titled

Teach the Children

I like to call it "Santa Teaches of Christmas"

Late one Christmas Eve, I sank back, tired but content, into my easy chair. The kids were in bed, the gifts were wrapped, the milk and cookies waited by the fireplace for Santa. As I sat back admiring the tree with its decorations, I couldn't help feeling that something important was missing. It wasn't long before the tiny twinkling tree lights lulled me to sleep.

I don't know how long I slept, but all of a sudden I knew that I wasn't alone. I opened my eyes, and you can imagine my surprise when I saw Santa Claus himself standing next to my Christmas tree. He was dressed all in fur from his head to his foot just as the poem described him, but he was not the "jolly old elf" of Christmas legend. The man who stood before me looked sad and disappointed, and there were tears in his eyes.

"Santa, what's wrong?" I asked, "Why are you crying?"

"It's the children," Santa replied sadly.

"But Santa, the children love you," I said.

"Oh, I know they love me, and they love the gifts I bring them," Santa said, "but the children of today seem to have somehow missed out on the true spirit of Christmas. It's not their fault. It's just that the adults, many of them not having been taught themselves, have forgotten to teach the children."

"Teach them what?" I asked.

Santa's kind old face became soft, more gentle. His eyes began to shine with something more than tears. He spoke softly. "Teach the children the true meaning of Christmas. Teach them that the part of Christmas we can see, hear, and touch is much more than meets the eye. Teach them the symbolism behind the customs and traditions of Christmas which we now observe. Teach them what it is they truly represent."

Santa reached into his bag and pulled out a tiny Christmas tree and set it on my mantle. "Teach them about the Christmas tree. Green is the second color of Christmas. The stately evergreen, with its unchanging color, represents the hope of eternal life in Jesus. Its needles point heavenward as a reminder that mankind's thoughts should turn heavenward as well."

Santa reached into his bag again and pulled out a shiny star and placed it at the top of the small tree. "The star was the heavenly sign of promise. God promised a Savior for the world and the star was the sign of the fulfillment of that promise on the night that Jesus Christ was born. Teach the children that God always fulfills His promises, and that wise men still seek Him."

"Red," said Santa, "is the first color of Christmas." He pulled forth a red ornament for the tiny tree. "Red is deep, intense, vivid. It is the color of the life-giving blood that flows through our veins. It is the symbol of God's greatest gift. Teach the children that Christ gave His life and shed His blood for them that they might have eternal life. When they see the color red, it should remind them of that most wonderful Gift."

Santa found a silver bell in his pack and placed it on the tree. "Just as lost sheep are guided to safety by the sound of the bell, it continues to ring today for all to be guided to the fold. Teach the children to follow the true Shepherd, who gave His life for the sheep."

Santa placed a candle on the mantle and lit it. The soft glow from its one tiny flame brightened the room. "The glow of the candle represents how people can show their thanks for the gift of God's Son that Christmas Eve long ago. Teach the children to follow in Christ's foot steps... to go about doing good. Teach them to let their light so shine before people that all may see it and glorify God. This is what is symbolized when the twinkling lights shine on the tree like hundreds of bright, shining candles, each of them representing one of God's precious children, their light shining for all to see."

Again Santa reached into his bag and this time he brought forth a tiny red and white striped cane. As he hung it on the tree he spoke softly. "The candy cane is a stick of hard white candy: white to symbolize the virgin birth and sinless nature of Jesus, and hard to symbolize the Solid Rock the foundation of the church, and the firmness of God's promises. The candy cane is in the form of a 'J' to represent the precious name of Jesus, who came to earth. It also represents the Good Shepherd's crook, which He uses to reach down into the ditches of the world to lift out the fallen lambs who, like all sheep, have gone astray. The original candy cane had three small red stripes, which are the stripes of the scourging Jesus received by which we are healed, and a large red stripe that represents the shed blood of Jesus, so that we can have the promise of eternal life."

"Teach these things to the children."

Santa brought out a beautiful wreath made of fresh, fragrant greenery tied with a bright red bow. "The bow reminds us of the bond of perfection, which is love. The wreath embodies all the good things about Christmas for those with eyes to see and hearts to understand. It contains the colors of red and green and the heaven-turned needles of the evergreen. The bow tells the story of good will towards all and its color reminds us of Christ's sacrifice. Even its very shape is symbolic, representing eternity and the eternal nature of Christ's love. It is a circle, without beginning and without end. These are the things you must teach the children."

I asked, "But where does that leave you, Santa?"

The tears gone now from his eyes, a smile broke over Santa's face. "Why bless you, my dear," he laughed, "I'm only a symbol myself. I represent the spirit of family fun and the joy of giving and receiving. If the children are taught these other things, there is no danger that I'll ever be forgotten."

"I think I'm beginning to understand."

"That's why I came," said Santa. "You're an adult. If you don't teach the children these things, then who will?"

(Author Unknown)

Source: http://www.neloo.com/Christmas/Christmas1.html

One Year of Blogging

It's been one year of blogging here. 

There have been ups and downs. 

There have been complaints. 

There have been stories. 

But you know what?

I DON'T CARE!

This is my blog and I'll do what I want with it.

And it will continue that way. 

Readers, thank you for reading this blog and putting up with me. 

Please continue to read my posts as they come.

More posts to come! 

Until next time, Merry Christmas!

My Favorite Part of this Time of the Year

This time of the year can be described as joyful, stressful, magical, happy, special, etc. 
There are many components: tree, ornaments, stockings, presents, wreaths, lights, etc.
And lets not forget all of the food: cookies, caramels, pies, popcorn balls, etc. 
All of those things are great and I love them, but my most favorite part about this year is giving. 

As much as I love to decorate, bake, wrap, and sing, I really, really love to give presents. I love picking out a special gift for each family member and friend on my shopping list. I love putting my time and thought into my shopping list and finding that one gift that is absolutely perfect and that I know the receive will love! For example: Last year I was looking ALL OVER for a gift for my dad and I couldn't find what I wanted to give him. But then I was at a store just browsing through their Christmas section and I found it. A dancing and singing hippopotamus. My dad absolutely loves the song (and history behind it) "I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas," which is what the hippo sings and dances to. I thought it would be hilarious and more of a gag gift. Low and behold, it was his favorite gift that year and it still sits out where everyone can see it all year long. It's also the Squid's favorite gift last year too. 

As stressful and hard it is to find that perfect gift for each member of the family, I love it. I love seeing their faces when they open their gift and instantly fall in love with it. I love seeing the gift in use. I love seeing the joy each gift brings. Yes, I may have searched all over town (and maybe a couple more) to find the gift. It may have taken a few months of stressing, searching, and traveling to find it. I may have lost some hair over it. And yes, sometimes I fail and don't find that perfect gift, but I know that no matter what I give them, those who love me will love that I even thought about them during this time of year. 

I couldn't care less about what everyone gets me or how many gifts I get. I don't need a lot. I don't need the latest and greatest tech gadget. I don't need the latest movie. I don't need toys, lots of clothes, kitchen supplies, etc. I already have everything I may ever need. I do have desires and wants, but if I don't get them, it's not the end of the world. Christmas won't be ruined if I don't get that one item I've been yearning for all year or the one movie I saw this year that I don't already have. Christmas will be ruined if I can't give to those I love the most. Christmas will be ruined if I don't have a roof over my head, clothes to keep me warm, and food to keep me fed. Christmas will be ruined if I can't express my love through music, gifts, and time. Christmas will be ruined if there is no love during this time of year. 

That's the whole reason for the season! Jesus Christ was sent to this earth, atoned for our sins, suffered on Gethsemane, and was put up on the cross because he and our Heavenly Father love us. No one anywhere at any time would make the sacrifices they do if they didn't love anyone. God sacrificed his Only Begotten because He loves us. Jesus Christ stood up and said, "Send me," because he loves us. We may not feel their love all the time, especially when we are at our lowest, but I know that they do love us and they are constantly watching over us and blessing us with what we need. 

That being said, I challenge all of my readers to help someone in need this Christmas season. It's not too late. I participated in Jamberry's Black Friday Remix where a portion of the sales from that weekend went to Toys for Tots. Want to know how much we donated? $150,000! And I am very happy to say that I helped with that. So please give. Put your change in the bucket of the poor soul ringing the bell outside the store. Give a neighbor some help with shoveling the walks. Put an item into the Food Bank and Toys for Tots boxes. Whatever you can give, please give it.

Merry Christmas everyone! 

Make sure to tell the ones you love that you love them!

I love you all!