So Tell Me What You Want, What You Really, Really Want

No, I'm not about to break (further) into song. I just couldn't think of a better title. :) 

Communication is when two (or more) people talk and listen to each other. It's as simple as that! So why is it so hard? Especially in relationships?! Why is it that we as humans want well working relationships (no matter what kind) but can't seem to understand how communication works?

Here is how it works (in a perfect world): Person A talks while Person B listens. Then Person B talks while Person A listens. Persons A or B may ask questions to clarify what the other is talking about or to move the conversation along. No interruptions are allowed. Everyone gets to say what they need to say. No judgment. No rude and/or hurtful remarks. No "one-overing" the other person. Everyone just simply talks thoroughly and listens thoroughly. 

SO WHY DOESN'T THIS WORK?! Why doesn't it happen? 

I don't understand why communication is such a rarity these days. You hear everywhere that "communication is the key" in a healthy relationship. I agree that it is one of the keys. It is one thing that helps a relationship grow and become strong. I also say that complete communication is not always necessary. There are some things that shouldn't be shared. There are some things that work out better when kept to oneself. 

I'm more of a listener than a talker when it comes to conversations. I've always been the quiet one who doesn't speak up unless needed, strongly prompted, or fully comfortable in the current situation. I stutter over my words when I'm nervous or frustrated. (Or excited, but that's a different story.) So I don't like to speak (mostly in public) unless I have to. I've always been the one in the background listening and trying to understand. But when I know I can help, I speak up. Sadly, my help is not always heard or understood and that's when things get complicated. 

Ladies, please don't get offended by this next part because it is true at least once in a while. We females don't always express what we want. We don't always say what's on our minds. We don't tell our significant other what we want from them. We just assume that they can read our minds and other "subtle" hints and clues. Guess what: it doesn't work that way! Just because our girl-friends (sometimes) can read our minds and know exactly what we want doesn't mean that our partners do too. We need to calmly tell our husbands, boyfriends, life partners what we need from them. Even if it's to pick something up off the floor because you can't bend over for one reason or another. And be clear. Tell him exactly what you want. If you can't do that, do it yourself. 

Men, your turn not to be offended. Guys, you need to talk. You need to tell us about what's bothering you, what you need help with, and what you want! Women may be mind readers and know what's going through your head, but we like to hear it from you. Also, actually talk! No one or two word answers. Use at least 6 words when answering a question. It would also help if you paid complete attention when talking with us or to us. If you are in the middle of a videogame and you are trying to talk with me, I'm not going to be taking you seriously and I'd be a little shocked if any woman did. When communicating, full undivided attention is extremely helpful. 

Can we please all take the time to communicate properly with each other? If you want attention, say you want attention. If you want food, say "I'm hungry. Will you please make me ___?" If you want to go to bed, say it. If you want to go somewhere, say it! Are you catching my drift? SAY IT!!! Talk with people. Listen to people. And having a filter between your brain and mouth wouldn't hurt either. Let's have better communication and save each other some headaches and heartaches.