The Golden Rule of Marriage

Every newly wed couple is told "Don't go to bed mad". I've dubbed this the golden rule of marriage because it is told to everyone! 

But what about other emotions? What about going to bed upset? Or disappointed? Or feeling guilty? Depressed? Frustrated? 

A few nights ago I went to bed mad, absolutely fuming. I hardly slept. Even though I'm at the last leg of my pregnancy, I didn't sleep because I was so mad and hurt. I couldn't not dwell on what was said and it kept me up most of the night. When I did sleep, it was not restful. The next day I was groggy, felt icky, and just wanted to go back to bed to sleep, but I was able to get past letting the madness fill me. Am I still mad about what happened? Yes, but it doesn't matter anymore because I've done all I can to remove myself from the problem. 

The other night, I went to bed upset and feeling a little guilty, even though I was not at fault. I ended up staying up later than I normally do, but that didn't really help with shedding the feelings I had. Because of the other night when I went to bed mad, I took a sleeping aid right before bed and was out as soon as I got comfortable (which is hard with a baby bouncing around inside you). I slept through most of the night, but the next morning I still felt upset and guilty. I have done nothing wrong and yet the situation that presented itself has rocked me. It will certainly take more time for me to come out of this one. 

There have been many nights where I have gone to bed sad and/or depressed. Not the best option, but at least I can sleep when that happens. And in the morning I usually feel a lot better about whatever happened. 

So, maybe the rule should change to "Don't go to bed if you know you aren't going to sleep well." Or maybe you should just sleep elsewhere so that you don't keep your spouse up all night with you. I hate this "rule" because no one is perfect and even talking things out doesn't always work. Sometimes you just have to go to bed mad, frustrated, sad, depressed, upset, or otherwise because there's nothing that will instantly make everything better.